In the beginning I always knew Asa wanted to marry me.
He has never ever wavered in that. He’s always pursued me intentionally. And when September came around he told me that he wanted to go look at rings.
Honestly, I didn’t know how to feel. I felt excited because he wants me and I want to be with him forever.. But I also felt very afraid. Manly because I was worried he would change his mind. And I was super worried about ring shopping because I have very specific tastes in jewelry and I was super worried that I would hurt his feelings or that everyone would judge me because I’m not the type that would accept a ring pop kind of person. My love is not based on material things, but being who I am… I want my ring to be able to stand the test of time.
I knew that I wanted something different. I wanted something that wasn’t tall or that I would have to worry about destroying my clothes or draw TOO much attention. I wanted a pear shape. I didn’t care about diamonds. I wanted it to be a hard and shiny stone, I wanted the band to not be too wide, for it to have a wedding band that would compliment it/come with it and I wanted it to stand the test of time. I never ever ever want to “upgrade” or replace it. I either want to be buried with it, or I want my children to have it. No other ring will carry these memories I will make while wearing it, so I want this ring to be IT. One time purchase. One time expense.
And thank the good Lord above, Asa knew where I was coming from. I was SO worried he wouldn’t understand and would have his feelings hurt, but he agreed with me completely.
So he told me, “Hey. I want to look at rings in October.” And I’m like, “Okay.”
Well October comes around and he’s like, “I want to look at rings this week. Let’s go on Friday.”
And the whole time I’m nervous. I’m nervous about the sales people. I’m nervous about the prices. I’m nervous about Asa’s reaction to everything. I’m scared to death he’ll change his mind. I don’t want to be pressured to pick ANYTHING out today.
So we pull up to the mall and Asa parks the car and turns it off. We’re sitting there of all of 30 seconds but it feels like an eternity to me and I blurt out, “I don’t want to be pressured! I’m really nervous. I don’t want any sales people to get pushy with me.” And then Asa comforts me and tells me that it’s going to be fine and that we’re just going to look to figure out what I like and don’t like and what metals look good on my skin, etc, etc..
We’re holding hands through the mall and I’ve never been a mall person. Growing up my family couldn’t afford anything from the mall, so I avoided malls like the plague until I got older. Even now I never go to the mall alone. I always get my best friend Whitney to go with me.
But anyways! I’m starting to ramble. Back to my story!
We’re holding hands and we’re approaching our first store.. Kay’s. Asa’s parents told me that they found her ring at Kay’s Jewelers and so I thought… Oh. Maybe this will be nice. Maybe mine will be there too.
So I take a deep breath and we go in. This woman with wildly big/messy bleach blonde hair stands up from behind the counter and starts talking to us. I feel like I’m semi in a daze, because I’m already over stimulated and overwhelmed. This might sound stupid, but I get shopper’s anxiety in a grocery store… I don’t know why I thought ring shopping might be different. I realize she is talking to me, so I look her in the eye and realize that I don’t recognize her accent. So I’m all up in my head trying to figure out where she’s from while trying to talk to her. And then I realize that her eyes look insane. They looked TOO white, and I couldn’t figure out if those where her natural eyes or contacts. It was VERY disorienting, because I’m a total eye contact person so I didn’t know what to do/look at.
And she asks us, “How did you two meet?” And Asa begins to tell her how we met and how we didn’t know each other until the past year… Basically everything in Part 1. And then she says, “Oh. I was reading an article the other day about these two people that met online. They were from different countries and they connected on Facebook. But the husband abused the wife shortly after they were married because she couldn’t cook. She never had to because she was previously married to a chef, but her first husband died. And yeah.. He treated her horrible. He beat her with extension cords and would tie her up. And then they found her dead.”
I don’t know if she said they ACTUALLY found her dead… But that was where my mind went and all I could hear after that was “Wah wah wahhhh wahaha…” Kind of like Charlie Brown’s teacher….
And I thought to myself, “I have no idea how to redeem this moment. What is happening?! I know how to talk to anyone. And I know how to talk about weird stuff and odd subjects… BUT HOW DO WE GET OUT OF THIS?! We’re here to buy wedding rings. I will never get this moment back. I just want to get out of her and get away from this lady! Does Asa hear these ‘she’s loco’ warning sirens going off too!?”
And I looked at Asa and he looked at me and I don’t even remember how we left. I just knew we got out of there. And I asked him, “What just happened?!” And he was like, “I don’t know. That was weird.”
Then he says, “Well, lets try Helzberg. Surely they’ll be better.”
And I looked at the store and the woman behind the counter seemed really nice. Not threatening at all. So I said, “Lets do it.”
When we walked in I felt so much better. The sales woman was not all over me. She was very sweet and was telling us about rings and about how her husband really lucked out because hers was a family heirloom, a gemstone(which I was 100% into), and the band was an antique that fit perfectly.
I took pictures of every ring I tried on. And there were a couple I thought were pretty. But I just couldn’t shake the first ring Asa ever showed me.
It was 3 months into our relationship and he was asking me what kind of rings I liked and what I would want. He then sent me this text.
And I fell in love. The ring was THE RING.
So after we left the mall Asa asked me if I liked anything I saw in Kay’s, Helzberg’s, or Zales, and I told him that I didn’t. That I did see one that was on clearance for $300 and beautiful(it reminded me of the sun or a flower… Which is partially my personality) but that the wedding band would be weird with it and that I really didn’t want to go through that battle.
And when I told him that he wept. He didn’t sob. It wasn’t anything dramatic at all. But he did cry a single tear. And I asked him what I did to make him upset, and he said.. “Nothing. I just want to marry you so bad. And I want to find something you love and I want to be closer to proposing and getting to the alter, changing your name, and officially starting a life together.”
Which sounds crazy and I feel like what I just wrote sounds like a fictional novel. But y’all. THAT REALLY HAPPENED.
So I tell him that we will find something, but that I want to look at more stores and, “Your mama said not to get the first ring we saw anyways. Let’s take her advice and just window shop for now and let me research gemstones so we’ll know if the ring can even stand the test of time.”
So a few days later we go to Jared’s Vault, a different Kay’s, and Jared’s Galleria of Jewelry. And this place is HUGE. Immediately we walk through the doors and we’re greeted by a gentleman asking me if I would like coffee or tea. And I say “Yes. Thank you.” He tells me to stay where I’m at and someone will help me shortly.
So I don’t listen and I start walking around. Because by this point I’ve learned that sales people are pushy and I’m tired of being pushed. I want to be heard and I want to be taken seriously.
So the salesman finds me and starts asking me questions and I tell him that I just want to look around and that I will let him know if I want to try on something… And I did find a few things I thought were okay, so I tried them on… And I tell him, “Well I don’t like how tall these are. I want it closer to my hand. And then he tells me, “Oh you’ll just get used to it.”
Which made me upset because 1) he wasn’t listening to me and 2) I know my habits. I’ve lived with me for 25 years. I’m not going to “Just get used” to anything gigantic on my hand tearing up my clothes and scratching my face when I wipe my forehead while I’m tired.
We’re nearing the end of our trip and then a different salesman approaches us and tells us about how they can design a ring. So I thought, “Oh man! They could make my ring and put a moissanite stone in it instead of a diamond. They said they could do gemstones! This is actually turning out to be promising!!”
Well, I emailed him the picture while standing next to him in the store and he’s all like, “We can even get it engraved and customized…” And so 3 days goes by and I hear nothing from him when he told me he would get back with me the next day. So I email him again and tell him exactly what I want. At the store he said each ring would run from $600-$800 depending on the final stone. Well, he sends me a quote back that says $1550 per ring. And then I tell him again that I don’t want diamonds. And then TWO WEEKS goes by and I email him AGAIN.. And then Asa emails him…
Well, Asa calls me one day and he sounds really upset.. And then he tells me that they can’t do moissanite but that they could do Cubic zirconia for no additional charge.. And Asa sounds crazy stressed and upset. So I tell Asa, “No. We’re not working with that guy. He lied to us and mislead us to believe something different. Plus we had to hound him down for answers. I don’t trust him.”
And I wanted to go down there and bless him out. Oh. I was so angry.
Well the next day Asa picks me up to go out for coffee and he turns to me and says, “Katie. I think we should just get the ring you want from Artemer. They’re the people that made that ring I first sent you. I looked them up and found them online. Their warranties aren’t lifetime warranties, but I think we should make this decision based on what you want. Not on the fear of something going wrong.”
And I was SO relieved.
He did ask me what I did not want as far as proposals went and I told him that I didn’t want it in food. I didn’t want my hands to be sticky from it, I didn’t want to choke on it or break my teeth, and I didn’t want the ring to be dirty. Haha! He’s like, “Okay. Definitely no food. I don’t like that idea either. Too many things could go wrong.”
So yes. I did know what the ring was going to look like before he proposed, which I didn’t mind. My thing was I wanted the proposal to be a surprise and to be intimate. And I was SO happy about the ring being what it was because technically Asa did pick out my ring and that did matter to me. He was the one to find it. It was literally the VERY first ring he ever showed me. And after we were engaged he told me that Artemer was amazing to him. By far THE BEST customer service he has ever been given. And that made me CRAZY happy.
I love all of their jewelry and their designs. Plus they’re from Israel which makes me love it even more. Please go check out their store! www.artemer.com
The day Asa proposed to me was a very normal Wednesday.
It was cold in my dank house, so I woke up, turned on my heater, and put on some warm clothes. I’ve been layering like crazy these days so I was wearing A LOT of clothes.
The first thing I did was take my dog out to pee, and then I sat down at my computer and worked on photos for my clients. I created a web gallery for them to chose their final portraits, and then I created a few sneak peek posts to my Katie Weeks Photo Instagram story before I left the house to run errands.
Now, I have to be honest and give you a vision of what I look like when I tell you I’m working on photos. Typically on my office/edit days, my hair is very dirty, and my face is nekkid(yes. This one. NEKKID, not naked. Naked implies purity and innocence. Nekkid implies that you were up to no good or you didn’t look good.) Y’all. I didn’t look good. My face looked like nekkid hot mess of grimy worn out road. Covered in dirt, and probably food because more often than not I am not graceful, and old make up from being too lazy to wash my face… And pimples. (Because, obviously skin care is so high on my to-do list.. I know it should be, but it’s not. Somedays I feel like I don’t have time to take care of myself. There’s already too much to do. Which totally blows my mind when I think of mothers. They’re on a whole other level of amazing. I just own a dog and a cat and I already feel like too many lives are depending on me. It’s amazing Asa even looks at me.) I’m usually wearing comfort clothes… aka workout gear, or pajamas, or onsies, which I only use for lounging…. I can not for the life of me sleep in a onsie. I get tangled and I hate it.
This day was cold, so I decided to reach for my plain lavender turtle neck, with my $6 thrift L.L. Bean maroon colored down feather vest. I spent most of the day following up with inquires, planning sessions, taking notes, and running errands. So I was 100% ready to wind down and see Asa that evening.
I knew Asa had taken the day off of work because he wasn’t feeling well, and so he was using that time to rest and study his languages. Right now he’s currently studying/reviewing Chinese, Japanese, Mongolian, Spanish, and Portuguese. Yes. You did read that right. Remember when I said he was wildly literate? It’s insane how much he can remember. And it is my goal to semi-catch up with him. I know I won’t but I at least want to try, so the night before that I told Asa that I wanted him to teach me Japanese.
I want to learn Japanese, because I want to support Asa in any way that I can. He is always doing so much for me and always helps me any way he can. And I literally mean that. As I mentioned in Part 2 I own a compost toilet, and he is all the time emptying it for me. I’ve never asked him once to do that, and for the longest time it really freaked me out…. But he doesn’t care. He’s always there to help.
So I want to help him in this way. He’s specifically studying Chinese and Japanese so he can take a very difficult proficiency test(I don’t remember the exact names for these tests), and he said that he was going to start from the very beginning to refresh and reinforce what he knows. The more I thought about it, the more I realized what a great time to support him and learn too. Plus, when he is speaking Japanese to other people, I want to be able to listen and join in too. And I just want him to know that I’m invested. Even though we’re both originally English speaking humans from Georgia, he is multi-lingual and I think one of the highest compliments you could ever give someone is to invest the time in learning about things your person knows or grew up in.
“Actively trying/being invested” is a beautiful love language, and it is one of my favorites.
Lately we’ve been having 2-3 hour language dates where we talk about languages, cultures, and then he helps me with words/meanings and I practice saying them. So when he came to pick me up, I thought that’s what we were going to do again. I needed to finish up some work though, so I packed up my computer, grabbed my email list, collected paper and some pens, and out the door we went.
Mind you, I was STILL in my nekkid face stage. It’s a miracle Asa wants to take me anywhere.
We’re in his car and we’re waiting in traffic, so I grab his hand and I’m playing music on my phone and singing along to it, and I realize that Asa is going in the wrong direction. He just turned left when the Starbucks we usually meet at is right. So I’m like, “Where are we going?? Starbucks is right.” and he tells me, “We’re going to the Starbucks on 92.” And I’m confused so I begin asking questions. “What? Why? It’s dark, and 92 gets kind of shady after it’s dark. Why don’t we go here where it’s less foot traffic and seems safer?” And Asa says, “We’ll be fine. It’s not that bad.” So this whole time I’m thinking, well… Maybe he wants to go to 92 because they have comfier seats.
We arrive and order and I go to find us two comfy seats so we can get hunkered down into our lesson. Suddenly the door opens and a young woman walks in carrying books and a back pack and sees Asa and starts talking to him. The Moons are very well known in our area so this is something I’m used to. Asa introduces me to Emily and she said that she recognized my name from Facebook. Asa tells her that I am a professional photographer and she lights up and tells me that she’s seen a few photos of mine before. Which totally makes me feel like a million bucks, because I try crazy hard to make beautiful and meaningful work with my clients and I love it when people notice. She then tells me that her and her husband are looking for a photographer so then we talk a little about her wedding and the venue.
I learn that she’s really cool and that she’s into possums. Being a Weeks girl, I know a lot about wildlife, country life, rodents and pets. If you want to hear great stories about ridiculous animals, my family’s version of pest control, wild shooting rampages in Mama’s brand new linoleum floor cause by Daddy trying to kill wharf rats, having to wash dishes because the wildlife bled all over them trying to get away, and almost sudden death, but absolute sudden comedic fear… Let’s plan for coffee, because the list is never ending. This was my WHOLE life. I felt like the Wild Thornberrys. I’ll invite Daddy. He’s the best story teller I know, and you will feel like you were with us right at home. But anyways, the house I grew up in was nicknamed the wild kingdom by my sister for a good reason and I was very excited to learn that this lady had a passion for possums. So I did what any good bluegrasser would do, I introduced her to the New Years Eve Possum Drop.
After a while Emily asks if we’re engaged yet, and I say “Not yet, but we are working towards that.” and I turn to look at Asa and I’ve never seen such a ridiculous grin in my life. It was the kind of grin that Daddy calls “crap eatin’ grin”. Seriously. It was crazy. So I’m laughing at Asa and I’m thinking, “Man. He must be really excited. I’m excited. He told me earlier today that my ring was in Smyrna. So it must be happening soon. There’s no way he’s going to wait.”
After awhile Emily and us part ways and I noticed it was past 8pm. 8pm is Asa’s bed time because he usually gets up around 3 or 4am for work. I really wanted to try a different drink there, so I tell Asa that I’m gonna buy a latte and then we can go home. So I do, and then we walk to the car and he opens my door and I get in.
I tell him thank you for bragging on me and my photography business and that it made me feel really good that he didn’t mind me talking to Emily for so long. He tells me that he meant every word, that it wasn’t a problem, and that he’s super proud of me.
At this point I am a little bummed though because Asa’s going to have to go home and I was already missing him before he left. We pulled out onto 92 heading towards the interstate, and then I noticed that he pulled WAY over into the farthest left lane possible like we were going to turn south on the interstate instead of north. The lane he should have been was the farthest right lane possible… So I’m thinking, “What is he doing?” and so I say, “Where are we going? The interstate is the only way home.. What are you doing? Where are we going?” And I look at him…
And there it is again. That crap eatin’ grin.
And he says “Oh don’t worry about it. We’re going to His Hands to hang out.”
And I’m like, “No really. Why are we going there? You need to go to bed. We can’t just ‘hang out’. You’re gonna be exhausted and I don’t want you making mistakes and electrocuting yourself because you’re tired!” And he’s just grinnin’ and telling me that it’ll be fine…
So my heart’s racing because I’m thinking, “This is too weird. Is this a proposal? Did he lie about where the ring was?!?! What if we’re really just hanging out and I get all excited and it doesn’t happen? Surely he is not going to be this mean. He knows not to play fast and lose with me especially about marriage/engagement related things. I can’t handle it.”
We pull up to the church which felt like a million years in the making, Asa parks, and jumps out of the vehicle. So I yell out, “Do I have to get out of the car?” And he’s like, “Yes!” So I get out and we’re walking around awkwardly and talking about the creepy statues. I’m a whovian, so statues freak me out in general. They’re beautiful, but if you watch Doctor Who… You will know why I don’t trust them. And we’re talking about how Jesus’s hands are gigantic compared to Jesus’s body… And then I can’t stop noticing the hollowed out portion of his eyeballs…
So I’m laughing a lot at how comical everything is, and Asa walks behind the Jesus statue. I follow him, and we hug and I ask him with my face tucked into his chest, “What are we really doing here?” I notice that his heart is beating really loudly and rapidly and then he nudges me away from him, looks at me, and gets down on one knee..
At this point I’m freaking out, so I put my chestnut praline chai tea latte in Jesus’s hands and turn back to Asa and he pulls out a ring box from his pocket, opens it but never turns it around because he’s so nervous, and says “Katelynn Erin Weeks, will you marry me?” And right when he said “Marr…” I was like, “YES!” And he’s like, “Let me put the ring on your finger!”
So I give him my hand and he puts it on. I’m hysterical laughing because I’m so happy, and we hug and kiss and then I’m holding his face and saying, “Thank you so much for everything you do for me. You do so much for me, and I really appreciate you and I appreciate that you do that. No one has ever loved me the way you do. Thank you for loving me so well. Thank you for asking me to marry you and for wanting to spend your life with me.” And by this point we’re both crying and he says, “Thank you for saying yes! You did say yes right?!?!?!” And I’m like, “YES! I totally interrupted you. You didn’t even hear me. Hahaha!”
And we’re hugging, and then he finally gets off his knees and I realize that we need to take some iPhone selfies, so we go back and I get some of us together.
This place held so much meaning for us. It was the place where I put us in God’s hands. The church is literally named His Hands. This was the place I told Asa my deepest darkest secrets and he still loved and accepted me. This was the place he told me that he loved me. This was the place that I learned to trust him. And another place where I learned to trust Jesus. The proposal place was 100% perfect. I honestly don’t think he could have done better.
And then he’s like, “We need to go to your house to tell your parents!”
So we’re in the car headed that way, and I’m like “Should we call or tell Tristan in person?” Tristan is my sister, who I call 20 times a day partially to annoy her, but really it’s because I love her so much and I’m determined to make it so she can not ignore my presence.
Rarely ever do I have good news that I can spring on someone, so I call Tristan and of course she doesn’t answer.. So I send her a text and say, “HEY! Are you awake?!” And I call her again and she picks up.
“Tristan… I have really big news. REALLY BIG NEWS. Do you want to be told in person or over the phone??”
And she says, ” You can tell me over the phone… WAIT! Let me put you on speaker phone! That way Jared can hear it too…. Okay. We’re here and listening. What’s the big news?”
“Tristan, I just had THE BEST Praline Chai Tea La…..”
And I’m like, “Asa! She hung up on me! Hahah! Can you believe that?!”
And so I call her back, and she immediately starts yelling “How dare you waste my time with this Chai Tea Latte Praline crap! I have stuff to do. Don’t waste my time like that!”
And I’m like, “Tristan, no really. WE’RE ENGAGED!”
And Jared and Tristan start yelling and laughing and they tell us congratulations.
When we make it home to tell my parents, Daddy opens the door and I head upstairs and I hear Daddy say, “You asked her to marry you didn’t you?” HE KNEW. Asa had already asked for his blessing two months ago, but he knew immediately what happened that night because of that grin! Haha! But I tell Mama and Daddy anyways and they’re super excited and smiling and checking out my ring. Mama loves rings in general, but she was super excited to see this one and of course she loved it.
After we left there, we went to Asa’s house which is about a 10 minute drive from mine, and I ask him how he wants to tell his family… If we should make up a story or something and then be like “Surprise!” And as we’re holding hands walking towards his house he’s like, “I’m pretty sure my family already knows something’s up.”
We to the top of the stairs that leads to his front door and as soon as Asa opened the door I heard Darnea(Asa’s mama) jump off of the couch and run to the top of the stairway entrance. She’s got a wild look in her eye and we make eye contact and then she starts yelling “YAY YAY YAAAAAAY!!!!!” and jumping up and down waving her arms. Then we were laughing together and bear hugging. It was amazing! Then Danielle and Jordan came up stairs and we were all talking about what happened. And then everyone was congratulating Asa and I and giving us the biggest hugs. It was perfect.
I could not have asked for a better night, and I was totally surprised. I seriously thought we were going to study languages and then go home. Haha!
Then I made a bunch of phone calls and texts.
And the next day I knew I needed to tell my Grandmothers the news before I posted anything online. I wanted to make sure they knew first.
So I called my Daddy’s mama, Grandma, and told her me and Asa were going to make a visit and to be ready for us. I knew she had to know something was up. She lives the farthest away and rarely ever do we get the chance to “stop by”, plus it was the night of the prayer meeting so I had a tight schedule to deal with.
But we arrived and almost as soon as we entered the living room, I sat down and blurted out, “Grandma, we just got engaged!” She was so happy. She kept asking to see the ring and making “woooo wooo” sounds. Haha! And she told us that she wished us all the best and all the happiness in the world.
And then after we told her, we went to Nanny’s. When we got to Nanny’s I told Asa that we would tell Nanny after I used the restroom. So I found her in the house and I hugged her hello and told her I would be right out of the restroom. She says “Okay baby.” And when I closed the door to the bathroom I heard Asa say, “Hey Nanny!” And she said, “Ha! Hey good lookin’! Haha!” And I heard them hug. Which made me feel amazing.
After I was finished, I went into the dining room where they were and I helped Nanny find her pill bottle she was looking for. Then I told Nanny, “Hey Nanny… Asa and I are engaged!”
Nanny smiled really big and started laughing and congratulating us. She was crazy happy too. And then she told Asa in a very serious tone to promise her never to hurt me otherwise she would hurt him. And then began laughing. She’s an 83 year old woman, but man she is spunky.
So now here we are. The end of Part 3. It’s really sad for me, honestly because I’ve enjoyed writing this so much… So at the request of one of my friends, I think I will blog about the engagement process, the Wedding planning, and the Wedding too.
Pleaseeee comment and talk to me about what you’ve read. I love feedback. It helps me significantly to know what you want to read or if I should stop blogging about certain things. I love two-way conversations, so if you have any questions or encouraging words, please open up and let me know. I really appreciate it!
Thank you for reading Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3. Thank you for reading my other blog posts, and thank you so much for all your love and support of mine and Asa’s relationship. It means the absolute world to me and to him. We’re undeniably blessed and it is all because of Jesus.